


Career Evaluation

by KatnapKradle



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Slice of Life, ask to tag, brief mentions of sakuya, but like kept super duper vague, but these two have such a casual and comfortable relationship, but you can infer that mahiru's thinking about it, can be read as platonic, kinda some spoilers in here?, nothing actually mentioned or talked about, reference to abuse, someday i'll write something that's explicitly romantic, that everything inevitably comes out ultra domestic, vague hints of selfloathing from mahi here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26982133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatnapKradle/pseuds/KatnapKradle
Summary: “Nah, Kuro. I don’t… Think I want to be a pediatrician anymore.”“… You don’t?”“Mm-mm. Instead… I want to be a school nurse.”“… How come? They don’t make as much, y’know.”In which Mahiru reassesses his dream job during a moment of downtime, with minimal input from his Servamp.
Relationships: Kuro | Sleepy Ash & Shirota Mahiru, Kuro | Sleepy Ash/Shirota Mahiru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36
Collections: Everything, Servamp





	Career Evaluation

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily edited from its initial drabble form on my tumblr

“Nah, Kuro. I don’t… Think I want to be a pediatrician anymore.”

It's something he's been thinking about for a while. Even if he's only in his first year of high school, Mahiru is well aware that before he knows it, it'll be the start of second year and he'll have to start seriously considering his career options. And frankly... Many of the things he's gone through have shaken up his world view. Nothing is quite as simple as he once thought they were. It's frustrating. He feels powerless, though he tries not to show it, instead throwing himself into his schoolwork, his hobbies, his training as an Eve. Always busy, busy, busy... 

But sometimes, like now, when he's struggling the hair tearing frustration that is his English homework (he made the mistake of asking Kuro for help with it, once, and quickly found out that despite being a native speaker, Kuro's grammar and punctuation left a lot to be desired), his mind inevitably wanders to worries that are much more adult. Like what he's going to do with the rest of his life.

Kuro lounges behind him on his bed, socked feet pausing their lazy mid air sway and the Servamp pulling the earbuds he's using to prevent the cries of fallen foes from disturbing Mahiru's suffering from his ears. Instead, he sits up a little, giving his full attention to Mahiru for the moment. It's enough to make him crack a tired smile, honestly. Sometimes it feels like pulling teeth to get Kuro to put his games down, and yet...

“… You don’t?”

The words are soft, probing, and Mahiru taps his mechanical pencil (orange with a sun shaped topper on the end, something Sakuya had apparently gotten in a variety pack and thought he'd like) against his workbook, eraser shavings caught in the center of it. On the page itself, the word 'hospital' is written into the blank, messy Latin letters that he'll probably have to go back and rewrite more neatly. Looking closer, his 'a' and his 'o' are looking very similar...

Eraser in hand, Mahiru responds, “Mm-mm. Instead… I want to be a school nurse,” calmly wiping away the eraser shreds onto the wooden floors. He can sweep them up later. He senses more than sees Kuro's expression deepen into a frown and continues to stare appraisingly at the manila pages in front of him, grainy and tinted warm from the light of his desk lamp.

“… How come? They don’t make as much, y’know.”

The words make him scoff, Mahiru twisting around in his desk chair to scold Kuro face to face. Just as he thought, there's a frown pulling at thin, pale lips, though it's more curious than disapproving.

“It’s not about the money! … At least, not like that."

Kuro quirks a brow at him, and Mahiru takes the invitation to continue.

"I’ve been thinking about it, and… Not everyone can afford, or is willing, to take their kids to a doctor. So then I thought… I wanted to be a social worker.”

This time a hum, red eyes drifting back down to the screen illuminating the Servamp's face from below. It reminds him of campfire ghost stories and flashlights, and Mahiru finds himself thinking towards a school camping trip in the mountains and a friend that he knows would have scared them all silly with his tall tales. His heart squeezes. His stomach drops. He shakes the image out of his mind, and Kuro makes no comment on it.

“… Why’d you change your mind on that?”

Somehow, he gets the feeling that Kuro already knows. It's a little jarring, if he's honest, to really look at and recognize how well Kuro knows him now. Knows what he needs to hear or when he needs to be left alone. Knows when he needs to speak, to get it all out. It's also strange that... It's getting _easier_. To admit that he's not... Entirely _okay_. Though he supposes after having an emotional breakdown in a stranger's shower and then getting into a shouting match in the streets, you have to learn to let _somebody_ in. And perhaps the multiple near death vehicular incidents in the span of an hour hastened things along, too.

Mahiru turns back around to his work, spinning that pencil between his fingers. He needs to put lead in it soon.

“Because… I can’t do anything if no one speaks up. I’d… Have to wait for someone to say something. And sometimes… No one cares enough to…”

A flash of green, of smiles through tears, of a story and a past he has no right to know, run through his mind. Kuro grunts behind him, and the somewhat rough edge to it eases the ache away. It'll be okay, he thinks. Kuro's here, in the gentle semi-darkness of his bedroom, and he has promised him so many things without ever actually saying them. Among them was making sure to bring his friend home.  
  
“… Mm. I get it. You don’t gotta say it.”

Mahiru almost wants to cry. Instead, he takes a deep breath and barrels on, forcing some gusto into his voice as Kuro returns to tapping away softly at the gamepad in his lap.  
  
“B-But…! Everyone has to send their kids to school, right! Attendance is mandatory up to middle school here. And I thought that…" He trails off, the steam leaving him as his eyes settle back on the word that spawned these thoughts to begin with. Hospital. "Even if I can’t do much… If I see something, I can say something. I… Can help them, as best I can. It wouldn’t be a lot, but… If a student is hurt, or being hurt by someone… I can give them somewhere safe to go. I can talk to them. Patch them up if they need it. I… Can be the adult who helps them fight.”

He wants to save someone. Anyone. Prevent another tragedy like the one that was divulged to him without the victim's consent. The more he thinks back on it, the more he understands why Kuro was so angry at that time. He's angry, too. But he's also just the smallest bit... Sympathetic, maybe? To what reasons Tsubaki might have had for telling him what he did. It takes a lot of courage to even start to admit that, no matter how much you might love someone, you can't necessarily make the hurt go away. Not that Tsubaki would ever say as much in words. But it almost felt like he was asking Mahiru to... Make it right.

Maybe that's just his own ego talking.

It probably is.

"If... I can help even one kid... It'll be worth it, right?"

His voice cracks miserably at the end. Again, and again, he considers what he can do, but no matter what he comes up with, right now, he's just... Powerless, in the grand scheme of things. He wants to save everyone he can. But... Maybe, maybe, just one is enough. Maybe then, _he'll_ be...

"Sounds gucci to me. Think we can get me certified as a therapy animal or something? Wait, but, I'd have to wear a harness..."

The words are so ridiculous, and Mahiru snorts, the burning in his eyes receding as he turns back around, teasing grin splitting his face. Kuro blinks slowly at him, and he thinks he sees the ghost of a smile, too.

"Not just a harness. You'd need your nails clipped, and your shots updated, and also have to go to kitty obedience school-"

"Oh hell no. I am not letting some weirdo in tacky looking scrubs put a thermometer up my butt. Offer's off the table; no can do."

Mahiru can't do anything but cackle at the absurdity of it all.

**Author's Note:**

> funfact! This originally only had the bits of dialogue. Further funfact! School nurses in Japan don't just handle physical injuries for students. They also play the role of a school counselor and try to handle the mental health of their charges if their help is requested. So, uh. Good luck in university, Mahiru! Fight!


End file.
